A necklace of liquid gold

21:03:00

So here I am sitting on a bus full of people leaving you, for what I assume is probably only the 25th time, yet it's routine, I've been doing it every week for months now. So why this time am I struggling to hold back the tears?

You see, when I made the big decision to keep a tiny bit of 'non-mum' I still wanted to be with you. I mean, why can't I be Jade and Mum to? Why doesn't one go with the other and why do they HAVE to be separate?

I longed to take you to work with me, hold you, cuddle you, kiss you. But alas, in the day and age, it is not meant to be (let's hope for mums and dads in the future hey!)

So I decided, I needed a piece of you with me, something that reminded me of our cuddles, your smell, our breastfeeding closeness and there I saw it breastmilk keepsakes.

Now if you'd have handed me a piece of breast milk jewelry 2 years ago, I'd of thought you'd lost the plot! But now is it here clasping my broken necklace in tears.

I ordered a breast milk pearl in a locket, is the most beautiful and tasteful thing I've ever seen. There's no boobs, it's not in your face and unless you tell people no one knows what's in it!

Every week on the way to (and while I'm at) work I clutch my necklace, twiddle it and kiss it. It reminds me of you and the amazing journey that we've shared for the past year! And now it's broke, I feel lost, I must buy another chain, I love you so much princess and this is going to be my hardest session ever. I really hope time will go fast so I can have you back in my arms, nuzzled in close.

Sending you all the love in the world x

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Thank you for taking time to read my post, I try to reply to every comment but sometimes this is not possibly (nappies first, chat later!) if you need a fast response from me check out my Facebook page or tweet me @mummieswaiting.
Jade x

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