Staying safe after a relationship breakdown

by - 12:13:00

 When you are leaving a relationship, or a relationship has broken down due to domestic and family violence, safety is the most important thing you have to consider. Somebody who has harmed you or hurt you may try to find you or your children after you have left, and one of the worst things that can happen is you being found when you're trying to keep yourself safe.

It may feel like you're hiding, and it absolutely is, because when you've been through that kind of relationship breakdown, you need a moment to breathe where you can think straight with nobody putting pressure on you. You can learn how to make your phone impossible to track, and you can learn how to hide your address, but there are some things that you can do to stay safe after a relationship breakdown. Let's take a look at some of those tips for you below. 

Image source: Pexels

  1. Keep your location safe. Don't tell anybody the location of your safe space, and it doesn't matter whether that's a friend's house or a women's refuge. If you've always had somewhere that you wanted to do it in the relationship, never give it away as to where you're going. Don't tell your family or your friends or the abusers, family or friends or anybody that could link you back to the abuser. If you have children, they need to be coached on not telling anybody where you are staying because safety is first.
  2. Always have a backup plan. Even if you have got out of that relationship.You need to have a backup plan in case you are found again. That means having a panic button installed in the new place you are living, having a support now at a friends and family who are checking in on you regularly and making sure that if your abuser turns up at the door, it doesn't matter whether they beg, plead or cry, you are not to go with them no matter what. Making sure that you are in therapy to learn how to use the right techniques to prevent yourself from falling back into the same traps is also important because you are in a vulnerable state right now. 
  3. Make sure the police are involved. If you haven't already done so, it's important that you apply for an Apprehended Violence Order. This is a court order that bans somebody from assaulting, harassing, stalking, intimidating, or threatening you. If they breach the AV, they may be charged with a criminal offense. If you already have that out against your abuser and he breaks the order, call the police and report them every single time. If the police are involved in every single incident, then you have a constant backlog of paperwork.
  4. Keep changing your routine. If you have no choice but to stay in the same area or suburb as your abuser, then you need to make sure that your routine is changed. Take a new way to work and avoid places where your abuser would find you, such as shops or cafes that you used to frequent when you were together. Changing up your routine and being in different places can help you to determine whether you're being followed at any stage. Safety first, always.
*This is a collaborative post

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